wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Randomize
