He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
