I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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