We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Randomize
