Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Randomize
