You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
My vagina just recognized that song.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
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