i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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