The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Randomize
