I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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