so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Randomize
