Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
