Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
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