Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
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