She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
