we made out on top of his cat.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
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