So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
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