my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
