why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
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