i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
