You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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