I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Randomize
