I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
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