I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Randomize
