You're so nebulous sometimes
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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