It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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