drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Randomize
