her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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