great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
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