Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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