Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
try to milk me bitch
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