And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
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