Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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