words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
