You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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