the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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