you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Randomize
