you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
