I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Randomize
