thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Randomize
