No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
FUCK WHALES
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
