I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Randomize
