You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Randomize
