It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
