Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
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