Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
