So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
