i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
