So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Randomize