Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
