i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Randomize
