Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Randomize