I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
