question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
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