Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
