I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
