I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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