South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Randomize
