I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
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