is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
i need some magic done to my vagina
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
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