I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
