I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
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