ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
