maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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