The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Randomize
