I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
I will be naked everywhere
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
